Summer Backpacking

Since I was six or seven years old, my dad and I have tried our best to keep up with yearly backpacking adventures. Save two years surrounding the pandemic, we’ve been largely successful in our endeavor. Carving out two to three nights every summer to venture into the mountain range several hours from our central Oregon home (the name of which will not be mentioned as to make sure we don’t end up needing to co-inhabit those lakes with any more people than already know about them next summer). Our tradition continued this past weekend, although this time was doubled with a sense of ending. The last backpacking trip together before I leave for college, just as our family coastal camping trip was our last camping trip all together before both my brother and I left to our respective new states. My brother is now off in Colorado and thriving (or, “buzzing” as he would describe it) in hockey, the finality of this trip hung even heavier.

The heaviness did little to negate the amount of joy in this trip however, as I’d say it was one of my favorite backpacking trips we’ve ever been on together. As I’ve grown up more, I’ve learned to appreciate how special it is that I have parents who are loving, caring, and want to spend time getting to know me. Not everyone has the privilege of having parents who have an abundance of what I consider basic human decency. And having two wonderful humans as parents is something of a miracle! 

This trip began as all do, with a several hour long car ride consisting of audio books, conversations about fossils and teaching, and exclamations of excitement on my part every time we passed a field of cows. Arriving at the parking lot nestled among cliffs and trees, we were dismayed to find more cars than usual littering the area. However, we met a few people, and chalked the increased number of people to it being a weekend, as we usually visit the lakes on a weekday.

Our first day at the lake began later in the night than usual, as we had left Bend only after I had gotten off work. Having gotten contacts only several days before we left, the ability to see was quite a surprise. For the first time and only time, I was the one to point out the first star in the twilight sky. I also spotted my first shooting star. Finally a first on the trip or lasts.

The second day we hiked around six miles to a lake cradled in a glacier-made amphitheater of rock. Eating wild onions, discovering bones of a discarded cloven-toed leg, and relishing in the silence of the woods. Last year this silence brought to us a herd of several dozen mountain goats who, over the course of a few hours, migrated their way down the slopes until they arrived at the lake with us. While the herd had already moved on this year, they left behind trampled grasses, munched stems and most exciting of all- clumps of wool left behind on stray branches! As an avid needle felter, the anticipation of cleaning, preparing, and felting with the wool kept my giddy all trip.

The most important part of the trip wasn’t all the fun things we did, or the beautiful cliffs, trees and water we saw. The most important thing was getting to spend time together before I leave for college. Past memories mingling with the promise of more. Returning to a place, leaving it again but knowing that eventually I’ll return next year. A reminder that the rituals I love will continue year after year in the same way I will get to return to this home, with my family I love year after year (hopefully more often than that). Even as I grow and change, some things will remain the same for as long as they can. And for that I am so grateful.

Thank you Dad, for being my adventure buddy.

Wortcunning, Baking, and Connecting with the Natural World

My family has always had a garden. Even if the beds were confined on a porch shaded by tall conifers, it was essential that something is constantly growing in our backyard. In our current house, we’re lucky enough to have ample space for multiple garden beds, and a mound that, (when given permission by our heavy-footed dogs) boasts a plethora of herbs and flowers. However, it wasn’t until the pandemic began that I fully began to appreciate the importance of growing and making my own food. Limited to our yard, my curiosity towards the plants I shared it with grew and blossomed, and I began actively trying to learn everything I could about them. 

Thanks to my research and documentation, I’m now able to harvest fresh chickweed and hairy bittercress from what I would have once considered a clump of weeds, and add them to my sandwiches every day. I can strip the dying lavender of its flowers and dry them to be added to the batter of buttery scones. And I can make sure I keep our dogs away from the beautiful but toxic flowers of bittersweet nightshade.

Wortcunning: The knowledge of healing and magickal properties of plants combined with the practical skills required to make use of this knowledge.

Witchipedia

By taking it upon myself to identify and research the uses of the plants growing all around me, I’ve fostered a sense of independence within myself. I have the ability to know what I can eat and use to help my body and mind feel good, and I can find these things growing and flowering all around me.

Our garden this year

One of my biggest concerns about moving to the temperate rainforest of Olympia is its ecological differences from the High Desert. My heart may feel so full surrounded by the rain and lush green forests, but it’s also filled with anxiety and stress of not knowing the name and use of whatever plant I may find. Luckily my parents also value the ability to nourish one’s self in the woods and have given me books about Wortcunning and herbal medicine in the Olympics. On top of that, I will also begin an apprenticeship with an herbalist this coming October, and I’m so excited. I have hope that I can turn the anxiety around my lack of knowledge of the edible and medicinal plants around Evergreen’s campus into motivation to learn more. 

Until I leave for college, I’ve begun taking advantage of the weeks of replenishing rain we had in late spring and early summer this year and harvesting, foraging, and preserving what I can to bring with me to college. Below I’ve included two recipes I made this week which turned out far better than I expected! If any fellow Oregonians are reading this, I heavily suggest you give them a try!

Oregon Grape Jam

I had been anticipating the ripening of Oregon Grapes in our front yard for months. Luckily the heavy rains this year, and then sweltering heatwaves resulted in a massive harvest which I could put to use in the kitchen, while still leaving the majority for the wildlife. 

Oregon Grapes are a digestive stimulant, have anti-microbial properties, are immune boosting, anti-inflammatory, and may also boost mood. It’s so amazing to me that we have the opportunity to find such versatile plants right outside our front doors. 

Oregon Grape Jam Recipe

2 quarts of washed and stemmed oregon grapes (ripe ones will be a blueish purple)

3 cups water

5 cups sugar

1 package liquid pectin 

  1. Crush grapes and add water, using a hand blender on low- do NOT over mix.
  2. Boil for 10 minutes, crushing berries as you go.
  3. Place mixture in cheese-cloth lined colander, let drain for around 3-6 hours, until approximately 4 cups of juice remains. Discard debris.
  4. Mix juice with sugar and bring to a rapid boil. 
  5. Add pectin. Return to full boil for one minute. 
  6. Place into warm sterilized jars, place the lids on and put jars into a boiling water bath for 10 minutes.
  7. Remove jars from water and let set overnight. 

I ended up reducing this recipe by ¾ which resulted in around 3 jars of jam.

Jam Filled Scones

With about one jar of this jam, I decided to make jam filled lavender scones, with lavender harvested from my own backyard!

Jam Filled Scones Recipe

2 cups flower

¼ cup sugar

1 teaspoon baking powder

1 teaspoon baking soda

½ teaspoon salt

½ cup cold unsalted butter (cubed)

⅔ cup oat milk

1 teaspoon cream of tartar

2 tablespoons dried lavender flowers

½ cup jam

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. 
  2. Whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, salt, and cream of tartar. 
  3. Cut in butter and mix with hands until the misfire resembles coarse crumbs. Add oat milk. 
  4. Transfer to lightly floured surface and knead, incorporating dried lavender flowers as you go. 
  5. Flatten into an approximately ¾ inch thick sheet, cut dough into circles (I use the edge of a half cup measuring cup to do this). 
  6. Place onto a baking sheet and use thumb to make an indent in the center. Fill with around 1 tablespoon of jam.
  7. Bake for around 20 minutes or until golden brown.

These scones turned out much better than I expected as this was one of the first recipes I constructed instead of following a premade recipe exactly. They were very light and fluffy, and the flavor of the lavender and the Oregon grape jam were balanced. 

These are just a few of the recipes I’ve experimented with this summer, and I hope to be able to continue my passion of both foraging and baking in college. Thank you for reading, and feel free to try out these recipes on your own!

Coastal Camping

Adventuring on our last camping trip before Wyatt and I both leave house this fall was a chimerical-like experience. Part of me didn’t believe this day would ever come. Believing instead that my life would continue in a constant loop of seasons, where I never substantially aged, never substantially changed, remaining content and small. And while I’d say I’m still pretty content and small, all of the major changes looming on the horizon put a damper on my mental state leading into this trip. Nervous that our final full family camping trip before the coming rite of passage wouldn’t live up to the amazing trips it proceeded, and the already jarring transition from the plane of existence I find myself stumbling along during regular life, and the separate reality voyages away from home seem to exist on, I entered the trip on already wobbly legs.

Wyatt and I walking across the sand

However, the moment I was able to stretch my shaky limbs and breathe in the freshest air I’ve ever inhaled, (supplemented by both plankton and a wide assortment of greenery) I immediately felt at home. This homely feeling helped reassure me that I’ll be okay at college because at least I’d have the forest just past my doorstep. 

The theme of oddness continued on the very first night when Wyatt beckoned me over to see a very lost, and very cute fledgling gray jay. Living up to his species’ legacy, he carried out many multi-step attempts at robbing our camp of any the tasty morsels he could scavenge, much to my dismay. I scolded him for eating people food, trying to offer him bird alternatives instead, which for the most part he denied. We later discovered the Audubon Society had a branch close by, able to help our adrift friend and offer him a place to sleep other than the bush he had spent the previous night in near my tent. For a few hours however, he was our family friend, never straying far from the warm fire and even warmer people. 

Our friend sitting on my lap

With great luck we secured very friendly and very musically talented neighbors. A group of three people sat around the campfire as the sun set, all with song books, harmonizing to melodies I vaguely recognized, but still filled me with peace. At our own fire, we would hum along quietly with tunes we recognized, and let their voices serenade our conversations with one’s we didn’t. 

The morning of our first full day began slowly, rising from my tent long after the sun had risen and staring in amazement at the greenery around me. Forests like this always remind me why green is my favorite color.

Once everyone was awake we began our drive through the winding roads that meander along the coastal side, keeping our eyes fixed on the ocean, scouring for whale spouts. The day before, Dad and Wyatt had spotted a pod just off the shore, and we were all hoping to be greeted by them again. Once in town we wandered through shops filled with rocks and crystals, books and humerus greeting cards, and I tried salt water taffy for the first time! 

We took our lunch to the day-use area at a campsite my dad and I have camped at a handful of times before. We found a wide assortment of things near the water; kite fliers, a rotting bird with a necklace tangled in her feathers, shells and rocks, and eventually, a little cove out of the wind where we could rest. One of my favorite feelings in the world is that of warm sand. Maybe I’m drawn to it because its softness lulls me into a catatonic state, or maybe the history of the sand fascinates me more. All rocks on the earth today will eventually become sand or magma, becoming separated into a seemingly infinite amount of parts, and becoming seemingly impossible to separate from my scalp. 

It was in this sand that Wyatt and I attempted headstands (which may have been a poor choice considering sand’s affinity for my head), and discovered that while I can get up in the air for a few seconds before tumbling over, Wyatt is actually quite skilled at becoming reverse-verticale. 

That night, worn out from the physicality of the day and exhausted socially, I returned to my tent. Equally itchy and filthy as I was happy.

My short lived headstand
Wyatt’s headstand while I trip in the background

I have hope that before the summer comes to an end there will be more camping opportunities. Wyatt returns to Colorado on the 10th of this month, leaving only my parents and I to continue exploring the wilderness together. Maybe my dad and I will continue our summerly tradition of backpacking together, and maybe all of us will be able to escape the smoke and heat adventuring to a lake or river in the mountains. Regardless, I’m thankful for the time I’ve been able to spend with my family this summer, and I’m excited for any new opportunities that may present themselves.

Goal Setting: First Quarter

While camping at the coast with my family this past week(which deserves a blog post of its own) we got to talking about setting goals for this new time. My brother is heading back off to colorado for hockey, and I’m moving to Washington for college, leaving my parents as empty nesters three years before they had been expecting. My brother’s goals all revolved around excelling in hockey (obviously) and my parents hoped for us to be well and content in our new lives. The talk of goals got me thinking about the kind of goals I want to set for the first quarter of college, and the list goes as follows. 

Friendships:

Goals involving both new and old social interaction

Make friends with all of my dorm mates

Something that drew me to Evergreen was their apartment-style housing. While I’ll be living in a unit with five other people, we all have our individual rooms, allowing the privacy and space I need, while still forcing me to get a healthy amount of social interaction. It’s really important to me that my roommates and I have a good relationship because I’m going to be living with these people for the next 9 months. Lucky for me I’m already close friends with Gabby, one of my roommates, and Evergreen allows students to choose and get to know their roommates before moving in, so I’ve been in contact with my fellow cohabitation buddies for months, and they all seem like wonderful people. 

Make friends with the people in my classes and Herbal Apprenticeship

As I’m going to be seeing these people almost every day, it seems natural to want to befriend them as to have allies in class. I’m not the greatest at making friends in person, but luckily Evergreen offers a few ways to interact with fellow students. Both online before school even begins, and in a special course for underclassmen every Monday. With the encouragement of my preexisting friends, I’m hopeful I’ll be able to reach out and make connections with the new people around me. 

Keep in contact with my friends back home

Lucky for me, I’m pretty good at maintaining close friendships purely over the internet, but with the added stress of college, I have some worry that it may become more difficult. I want to make sure that keeping the contacts and relationships I’ve formed with really special people remains a priority because these people are very important to me. 

Caring for Myself

Goals designed to ensure I am happy and healthy, even in this new place

Keep my room organized

As everyone who knows me is already very aware, I struggle to keep my space in the cleanest and most functional conditions. I have a habit to tuck interesting things away in the hopes of crafting something out of them, which results in an abundance of creative creations, and an even greater abundance of trinkets, fabrics and other materials waiting their turn to be transformed. When I move into the dorms I won’t be able to bring my collections with me, which I hope will allow me to create a space more conducive to productivity than the one I already have. That’s not to say I’m going to stop my creative endeavors, just limit how much of it I bring into my living space. 

Eat Healthy and Regularly

While I learn more about autism, I’ve learned that many autistic people (such as myself) can get so wrapped up in whatever we’re doing to the point that we forget to eat. At home, I have my parents to help remind me that it’s 4 pm and all I’ve eaten is a handful of grapes as I’ve been so engrossed in needle felting I completely forgot I’m a living organism who requires nutrition. Now that I’ll be living away from others who help me monitor my food intake, I’m going to have to create a new system. Whether that be timers, reminders, or enlisting my roommates to help me remember, I’ll find a way to get nutritious and delicious food into my body regularly somehow!

Get Outside Often

This goal shouldn’t be too difficult as the campus is located on 1,000 acres of temperate rainforest and coastline. But neglecting to add it to the list would be a gross oversight, because exploring the natural world is such an essential thing to maintaining good mental health, especially amongst so much change. 

Either continue seeing my current therapist or find a new one

During the pandemic, I began working with a therapist regularly to help me manage my anxiety, panic attacks, and anything else that may attempt to interfere with me living a rewarding life. Because we started during the pandemic, our sessions have been entirely online, which leaves me in a unique situation. Because he is only licensed in Oregon, my moving to Washington could put a stop to our bi-weekly meetings, so when I move we will either need to figure something out, or I’ll have to find a new one.

Maintain regular contact with family 

From calling my parents almost every night to updating this blog regularly, maintaining contact with my family is important to me. Change can be scary, but knowing that I have so many people close to me that I can reach out to whenever I need helps quell that fear. I’ve never been the most open person, but that doesn’t mean I get to close off more while I’m away at school. If anything, I want to try to hold more genuine conversations with my parents and brother now that they won’t be physically present during my days. 

Personal Trifles 

Goals designed to improve myself in a wide variety of ways

Learn how to navigate the bus system and get into Olympia regularly

Cars are terrifying, and the thought of having to drive one is even worse, so I’ve never progressed past my permit. Luckily, students are given free rein of the bus system in Olympia! I’ve only gotten the opportunity to you public transportation a few times in my life, because Bend’s infrastructure does not match its population, but I’m excited to learn how to navigate it all. 

Make connections with local artisans and craftsmen

As someone interested in selling handmade creations at the Olympia Farmer’s Market, it’s really important for me to meet and form connections with other local artisans and craftsmen in the area. I love being around other creative people, it helps refuel my creativity and get inspired to try new things, 

Improve my handwriting

Having pretty handwriting motivates me to take notes more often. Getting to fine-tune how it looks frames note-taking as a hobby or art project in my mind, which not only helps me learn but makes it more fun!

Reflection

Taking the time to set these goals for myself has helped me feel more prepared for heading off to college in September. At the end of the first quarter of college I’ll do an update on the goals I set, reflecting on how many I met and how striving towards those goals impacted my college beginnings, but for now, these goals will serve as the basic guide for beginning a new era of my life.

Preparing for College in the Time of Covid

Growing up I always dreamed about going to college. Walking through the forest with my dad, I would beg him to tell me more stories about his college experiences. Soaking in every detail he would share about dorm life, classes, and friendships I would make along the way. I had always planned how it would go. I would complete my four years of high school first, graduating with all A’s, my art in galleries around town, and the college of my choice fully equipped to propel me forward with my ambitious life goals. However, a global pandemic got in the way of some of those aspirations.

With the last few months of my sophomore year coming to an end from the comfort of my own bedroom, nothing was certain. All of the plans I had spent so much of my life perfecting in my head came crashing down, and I wasn’t quite sure what the future was going to look like.

Now I’ve graduated with MOSTLY A’s, my art not in any galleries but instead being sold online in a shop I’ve cultivated myself, and my thoughts about the future are a little less clear. As a kid, I always dreamed big, veterinarian, astronomer, pediatric surgeon, but being able to get away from school allowed me to explore my options. Now I work as an assistant preschool teacher, and I’ve never been happier thinking about my future. And the event that I was so scared would completely throw out all plans of a happy future ended up just changing them a bit.

“People say “phase” like impermanence means insignificance, Show me a permanent state of the self.”

thegirlwiththeloontattoo (tumblr)

Sometimes you come to realize that the future you had always planned isn’t the future your life is leading you to. And most importantly, you come to realize that it’s okay. As a chronic planner who has lists and plans for just about everything, that last part was a little bit harder to accept. But hopefully with time it’ll come a little bit easier. I’m still going to be making lists, and LOTS of them, but I’m going to be doing my best not to get too hung up on them. Things may change during college, but that’s okay, and I’ll be okay too.

When feeling overwhelmed with the innate impermanence of the world which was brought to my attention during the pandemic, it helps me to remember the things that will remain the same. My family will still always be here for me, my friends and I can stay connected, I’ll still have my frogs, my things, my arts, my passions. It’s scary to move, scary to think of living with new people, scary to think of being alone in a new state, but I’m lucky enough to have supportive parents, who I know will fly up to Washington at the drop of the hat if I need them.

While the future isn’t as set in stone as I once thought it was, the possibility is exciting. And I know I have people who will support me the whole way.