Preparing for College in the Time of Covid

Growing up I always dreamed about going to college. Walking through the forest with my dad, I would beg him to tell me more stories about his college experiences. Soaking in every detail he would share about dorm life, classes, and friendships I would make along the way. I had always planned how it would go. I would complete my four years of high school first, graduating with all A’s, my art in galleries around town, and the college of my choice fully equipped to propel me forward with my ambitious life goals. However, a global pandemic got in the way of some of those aspirations.

With the last few months of my sophomore year coming to an end from the comfort of my own bedroom, nothing was certain. All of the plans I had spent so much of my life perfecting in my head came crashing down, and I wasn’t quite sure what the future was going to look like.

Now I’ve graduated with MOSTLY A’s, my art not in any galleries but instead being sold online in a shop I’ve cultivated myself, and my thoughts about the future are a little less clear. As a kid, I always dreamed big, veterinarian, astronomer, pediatric surgeon, but being able to get away from school allowed me to explore my options. Now I work as an assistant preschool teacher, and I’ve never been happier thinking about my future. And the event that I was so scared would completely throw out all plans of a happy future ended up just changing them a bit.

“People say “phase” like impermanence means insignificance, Show me a permanent state of the self.”

thegirlwiththeloontattoo (tumblr)

Sometimes you come to realize that the future you had always planned isn’t the future your life is leading you to. And most importantly, you come to realize that it’s okay. As a chronic planner who has lists and plans for just about everything, that last part was a little bit harder to accept. But hopefully with time it’ll come a little bit easier. I’m still going to be making lists, and LOTS of them, but I’m going to be doing my best not to get too hung up on them. Things may change during college, but that’s okay, and I’ll be okay too.

When feeling overwhelmed with the innate impermanence of the world which was brought to my attention during the pandemic, it helps me to remember the things that will remain the same. My family will still always be here for me, my friends and I can stay connected, I’ll still have my frogs, my things, my arts, my passions. It’s scary to move, scary to think of living with new people, scary to think of being alone in a new state, but I’m lucky enough to have supportive parents, who I know will fly up to Washington at the drop of the hat if I need them.

While the future isn’t as set in stone as I once thought it was, the possibility is exciting. And I know I have people who will support me the whole way.